As my current “reset” continues I have been making it a point to take it slow. 4 years ago (when I last shifted gears in a major way) the “sudden-ness” of it all threw even me for a loop… let alone those around me. Looking back I can see how one has to give a little time for intellectual acceptance to seep into the emotional arena before major forward action.
This time around I am making allowances for things to soak in before making any major moves. I already recognize that this will be a major recalibration. The blessings of friends and family checking up on me is making it a less daunting task to undertake.
So, here is counting recalibration and the ability to allow and accept change to move forward.
That has pretty much where I’ve been of late. Taking it slow (that’s the rest part) and changing routines (that’s the reset part). The fridge is filled with leftovers from Saturday so there is no chance I’ll be starving anytime soon. Friends are constantly checking up on me and coming by. All is good.
Today, I have to get a little organized. This is obviously a pretty profound change… a major reset. There are a myriad of decisions to make… and once done… acted upon. There are “thanks you’s” to send out. There is clean-up to do.
… asked about the song “Jauh, Jauh” that Joy sang at Mum’s memorial. It was a favorite of both Mum and Dad… and mine.
Here is a great version from Sean Ghazi’s “Semalam” album. I’ve included the lyrics and the English translation. The song was written by the late Malaysian composer, Jimmy Boyle.
JAUH JAUH
Jauh jauh
Nun di sebalik gunung yang hijau
Pasir puteh
Menantikan laut biru
Ombaknya berderai
Sayup-sayup kedengaran
Bayu yang meniup
Membawa beritaku padanya
Sungguh sayu
Bila ku kenangkan peristiwa
Jauh jauh
Tinggal segala kenangan
Hilang di telan ombak
Yang memanggilnya
Kini ku s’orang
Tinggal mengenang yang jauh
FROM A-FAR
From a-far
Way beyond the mountain green
White sands
Await the azure sea
The waves break
Faintly whispering
Are the breezes that blow
Carrying my message to her
So sad
When I think of the past
Far away
The memories have been left behind
Lost, and consumed by the waves
That call to her
Leaving me alone
To remember her from a-far
Friends, neighbors, family and loved ones gathered on Saturday, June 27 to celebrate Mum’s life with songs, stories, food and drink.
It was a simple service that began with RP singing “The Prayer of St. Francis”.
Our friend Kim conducted the service with friends Hooi, John & Jane contributing stories. Blake came on and sang 2 of Mum’s favorite songs “It’s a sin to tell a lie”, and “Who’s sorry now”. I said a few words and the service concluded with Joy singing a malay favorite of both Mum and Dad’s… “Jauh, Jauh”.
Then we all ate, mingled and smiled for the rest of the afternoon. Here is a slide show to give you a taste. I will edit a video in the next couple of days of the service.
It is the kindness throughout this entire period by so many near and far to both Mum and me that I count this week.
I think Mum would have liked it.
In fact, I’m sure she would have said , “It was lovely… a blooming fine time!”
EDIT: The web service to display the photos is a little glitchy… I’ll upload them directly here. Hold for a bit.
EDIT 2: OK… fixed… here they are! Click each one for bigger views.
… of Mum’s Memorial will begin at noon (PST). It is being recorded and can be replayed HERE should you miss it.
You can click off the advertising and you can also click the right lower corner for full screen mode. In the event of webcast glitches… refresh the screen and restart the play button.
… sleep involved the last 3 days. It’s as if my body decided to catch up on rest. Friends are swinging by or calling to check up on me. Emails, messages and comments are also streaming in. Let me apologize again for my slow response… I will respond soon. Also, Thank You again for your care and stories that you have been sharing. They both delight and move me.
Details for the memorial are coming together. I have figured out a way to stream it live via the web… but there are a couple of details I still have to work out. There will be a screen embedded right here on this blog. Granted for some of you it will be running live at 4 AM (noon PST). However, with the service I’m using (justin.tv) there is a way to replay it so that you can watch it at a more decent hour.
Today I will be doing a lot of scanning for the photogallery component section of the memorial. Between today and Saturday work to set up for the memorial will take place. I have decided to cook a couple of dishes and others are also contributing to the meal.
… will be held this Saturday, June 27 on the front lawn of our home 416 E. Brown Ave., Fresno California.
This celebration of Mum’s life will begin at noon (ish) with a short service followed by refreshments, music, and a photo display of her life and work.
Dress is “summer casual” and please feel free to bring a dish, beverage or a fun happy memory of Gerty to share. If you can’t be present you may share your story in the comment section of this post and it will be shared at the memorial.
Arrangements for a live webcast are currently being made for relatives and loved ones who are spread out world wide. (Please check back here for updates.)
Many have inquired and offered to make contributions and you may do so via PayPal by clicking HERE.
Once again, Thank You for your messages, tributes, presence, kindness and love. I will respond to each and everyone soon.
… me at 5 AM. I had slept in the bed that had been set up in the dining room from when my cousins visited the week before. Just around the corner in the living room was Mum in the hospital bed I had bought in January.I had stayed up the night before and allowed myself some sleep when I was satisfied that her breathing was regular.
I wished her good morning, administered a dose of medication and when I saw that her breathing was regular told her I would not be far away. I then brushed my teeth and sat to blog an update from the events of the day before. Once posted I also burned another cd of music she liked. For the 2 days previous music had been a constant… primarily from a cd I had made for her in 2004 that she enjoyed… songs I knew she liked. I thought a wider selection of songs would be nice. I went back and popped the cd in… new music… but still stuff she liked.
I sat with her for a while. Told her that I loved her very much and that I was starting my chores for the day… feeding the dogs and watering the vegebeds. Once completed I went back in with a cup of coffee and listened to more music with her. The cd I had burned earlier came back into its second rotation.
I opened the front door to let the (unusually) cool air ( for June) enter the house. I told her I would step out to water the ferns out front and would be back shortly. Ella Fitzgerald was singing “Take the “A” train” on the cd player. When I returned the song was still playing. I noticed her breathing had stopped. I checked but could not find a pulse. She was still warm. I kissed her forehead and thanked her for being my mother. On the cd player Tony Bennett sang “The way you look tonight”.
I placed a call to the hospice then stepped outside the house and placed calls to several friends who have been stalwarts in helping me through this time. As I did Nat King Cole sang “Smile” on the cd player.
The morning was gorgeous outside with streams of sunlight filtering through the branches of the trees on the street. The air was crisp and cool. Mum could not have picked a more beautiful morning nor a more perfect soundtrack to gracefully make her exit.
EDIT: Monday, June 22, 9 AM
I’ve decided to add the three songs that were mentioned in this blog post.
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As my current “reset” continues I have been making it a point to take it slow. 4 years ago (when I last shifted gears in a major way) the “sudden-ness” of it all threw even me for a loop… let alone those around me. Looking back I can see how one has to give a little time for intellectual acceptance to seep into the emotional arena before major forward action.
It was a simple service that began with RP singing “The Prayer of St. Francis”. 
… will be held this Saturday, June 27 on the front lawn of our home 416 E. Brown Ave., Fresno California.
