For one… I would be leaving by mid-day (today) for San Francisco… but… I’m not. I canceled all reservations I had a few days ago. This (the trip to SF) has been a minor tradition for me for the past few years… a sort of a self birthday present.
The reason? Funds… or at least the lack of it. Truth be told I’ve been dipping into my savings the last few months due to circumstances… plus, gigs have been pretty sparse since my last one in October.
Does it break me up or destroy me inside? No. I love the city but if it is not to be… it’s not to be… for now… and I’m not going to cry in my scotch about it. There will be other trips up… sometime… hopefully soon… just not tomorrow. I will just enjoy my time here… and that will be just fine.
So, I turned 58. What does that mean? Honestly, it’s still just a number to me. Getting older is not something I fret about… it’s gonna happen anyway. Might as well just join the ride.
Oh sure, I don’t move as fast as I used to… and there are aches where there didn’t used to be. But for the most part… I’m O.K. Still doing most of what I do… including breathing.
I’ve lost friends of my generation and even younger the last few years. It’s sad but it hasn’t shocked me. It is a reality one has to face up to and accept at this stage in life. Actually, if you accept life… death is part and parcel of the deal.
I resolved a while back to make every encounter I have to count as much as I can. This helps me bypass the “If I only had…” regret that many experience at the demise of someone they know and/or love.
My generation has reached that stage when warranties are running out. The ferryman is hearing a lot of 70’s funk, rock and R & B as he guides the craft across these days… at least from the friends I’ve said goodbye to.
But… there is still life to live as well. How much of it is left? No one really knows. The trick is to live as much of it as one can… while one can… and to do it with as much gusto as time will allow.
That doesn’t mean that everything should be a big production number. Savor the quiet moments as well. Those are just as essential to the full experience as the more spectacular ones.
So, that is my intent… and hope… for me… and for you.
But just in case I should not be here (cause that could happen) play this when I’m gone.