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Archive for the ‘perception’ Category

the walk

03 Jun


It is something I started (actually, re-started) over the weekend. And I’ve continued. Fine, 5 days is not exactly a great track record but I’m still doing it, aren’t I? It is also true that some days I begin later in the morning than others. The point being… I’m still doing it. That should count for something.

Everyday the route changes. I like variety. Everyday I add a little more distance. It feels good. Sure, it’s fun to look around and check out the other homesteads in the hood but what I enjoy most about it is the solitude… that zen thing that kicks in when a rhythm and pace has been established.

I have always marveled at how certain simple activities produces that effect. One where the chaos, distractions and woes of the world (including the self) is stripped away and one is spirited into “the personal quiet”.

I have missed that for a while. There was a time when I could snap out of the clutter of life and be whisked off to that place on cue. The zone where one is most creative. Not just in an “artsy” way but also in the “everyday life” kinda way. The place where solutions to challenges appear in the most simple and straightforward form. It’s as if the gaudy speckled curtain rises revealing a bare stage. One where a myriad of scenarios play out for our examination. Our choice is then to pick one.

This really is the favorite thing about my walks. So much so I don’t even stop to consider the health benefits from the exercise I’m attaining. To me… that’s just a bonus.

*Click pick for original source.

 
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Posted in musings, perception

 

the BS quotient

15 Apr


Last night just before I drifted off an old topic of interest drifted into my mind scurrying away the images of my favorite dishes. (Yes, if you must know, I do think about food… a lot.)  This morning I recalled that I did write about this in a previous post. Here is an excerpt:

… it got me contemplating the “BS factor”. We all have a quotient of it… or at least remnants of one that was slapped together when we were younger. (One can only hope that as life rolls on we shed more of it in an effort to become more authentic.) This (BS Factor) is something that can manifest itself in many forms. It was (is) usually pulled out in an attempt to boost our esteem in some social setting… often taking the form of some badly disguised boast to impress company. It could also manifest itself as some sort of weird romanticized self depreciation in order to illicit sympathy. Whatever it’s form, it was (is) pulled out to train focus of the spotlight momentarily onto ourselves.

The questions that I have been contemplating in that vein include:

  • How much of our BS factor have we held on to from our teenage years?
  • Do we shed our BS factor as we get older or do we create newer editions and collect more to store as time rolls on?
  • Does continual spewing of our BS eventually make it true?
  • How many of us believe our own BS.. and are actually convinced that it defines us?
  • Does holding on to our BS impede our ability to live life to it’s fullest?

It struck me simply because I am once again diving into a creative life… which arguably has a higher quotient of BS artists than any known profession. LOL. OK, perhaps that is harsh to my fellow creative types… but this perception is stronger with people in the arts… at least in my experience. Though I will give that at least we are honest about our BS… and wear it on our sleeves. I’m sure the BS quotient runs high in any walk of life one happens to saunter in… it’s just seems more obvious in the arts.

After reading this, it struck me how these questions are really worth asking oneself every so often just as a self-check on what is real. So, I thought it was worth this repost.

Hope you are having a good Thursday.

 
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Posted in observations, perception

 

I am awkward during holidays

25 Nov

traditionTis true. I am. It wasn’t always that way and I’m not entirely sure when this (me being awkward) actually began. But are you not awkward most times anyway? Yeah… sure… but I’m talking about holidays in this post. Try to keep focus, will ya?

Anyway, this much I know… it wasn’t always that way… at least, not back in Malaysia. I loved holidays and Malaysia still has one of the highest number of public holidays in the world.

There were more “feast days” (Chinese New Year, 2 Hari Rayas, Deepavali, Christmas, etc) along with a slew of other sundry holidays (National Day, Sultan’s birthday, etc) that were spread throughout the year. I enjoyed all of them… especially the “feast days” mainly because there was a wonderful mix of camaraderie and food involved. This was especially prevalent with the cultural quirk of the “open house” practiced there.

I’m guessing the development of (my present) awkwardness may stem from the fact that I grew up with a set of traditions and with moving from one country and culture to another… let’s just say that bag got lost in transit. It also didn’t help that the ever flowing shifts in my life since then have been continual. (Nay, some would claim relentless.) Not exactly conducive factors to make something stick.

No, no, no… this is not a poor me post. Look, I have enjoyed holiday traditions here as a guest of several friends on many an occasion. Enjoyed them in a major way, I may add. And this year is no different as a generous number of invitations have poured in. As much as I appreciate that sharing and have been enriched by those experiences… they are not mine.

The closest I’ve gotten was while living with Mum over the last 10 or so years. Mostly in terms of food and a quieter version of what I grew up with. So much so, I now much prefer quiet celebrations during the holidays. This is strange (and a little awkward) because the traditions I grew up with had a definite mix of family along with a hefty social component in the milieu. So you see even that (the social component) of the tradition I grew up with… I’m not so crazy about anymore. (Now, that’s awkward.) The food on the other hand, I am. And I do happily cook those dishes to satiate my taste of the season.

So, being awkward during the holidays may not necessarily be a bad thing. Not everyone needs to be some place with other people during the holidays. I appreciate the sentiment… but it’s not a law. They just need to be. And if being means finding solace and comfort on their own… that’s OK too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

BTW… Da BIG Count is on Friday. Just sayin.

 
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Posted in bits and pieces, perception

 

imagination gone wild

03 Nov

imaginationgonewildI was chatting with a friend the other day and he was telling me how he nearly went crazy when he couldn’t find his 5 year old daughter a couple of months ago. Turns out she was hiding under the bed in a game of “hide and seek” but neglected to inform him that he was “it”… or there was even a game going on.  He rattled off the many possible scenarios that flashed through his mind within a 15 minute period… and frankly they were all pretty horrendous. After which he looked at me and said, “I know… I need to stop watching so many horror movies.”

The imagination gone wild (at least the sort described above)  is an all too common affliction. Just about everyone of us has experienced it in one way or another. Mostly triggered by situations such as… the cryptic “emergency” phone message… the lover/spouse being late and not calling in… business woes, etc. I find it curious though that when it does get triggered almost all the scenarios that arise are dire and/or highly negative.

The playwright in me was musing last night about using that state of panic to craft a script or 5. If you think about it, in a (perceived) dire circumstance the mind is capable of creating not only plots but also a certain simple logic as to why it is playing out. Seriously, think about the last one you had… as horrendous as it might have been, didn’t it all make total sense? It is those clear “through lines” that many in the creative field have the most challenge with.

Perhaps I should mine these scenerios from friends and start a production company called “Panic Pictures”.

 
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Posted in bits and pieces, perception

 

and the beat goes on…

27 Oct

fishinroof… OK, not in a Sonny & Cher kinda way but with stuff to do, etc. Never a boring moment around here. Plus the huge annual city street clean-up (sometimes known as dump your crap on the street week) is taking place on Thursday. Yay! It’s amazing the stuff we accumulate, isn’t it? Yard sales also remind me of this fact.

There are times I muse over those “gotta have it” periods I’ve been through over time. Then, years later I scratch my head puzzled as to why I am in possession of a certain item. A sarcophagus shaped lighter… really? I’ll admit there is a special entertainment value to befuddling oneself. (Unless one takes themselves too seriously, of course.)

Let’s face it, we all go through periods when something (or someone) fits a certain definition of cool. Some of these we smile at and others we fall over laughing while still wondering what insanity infected us in the first place. Then, like a cheezy flashback from a bad 70′s movie it all returns. Whatever it is will be blamed on being a victim to fashion or trend of the time. Or, falling victim to countering the fashion or trend of the time… which in itself is a fashion or trend. (However ongoing hubris may not allow one to admit to that… especially prevalent to the case of the terminally cool… or counter cool – whatever!)

Over the last few years I have come to embrace all the periods and phases I’ve been through. It has brought about an appreciation of not only the trends (retro is cool) but more importantly how it has shaped me today. They were all part and parcel of this journey… sort of curio roadside landmarks that we stopped to take in for a few moments on the highway of life. And tracing back our steps can be fun… OK, scary sometimes but mostly fun.

“image from THIS site
 
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Posted in just life, perception

 

only as good as the next

21 Oct

attaining-enlightenmentThat was my answer to a friend who asked me the other day how I felt about (insert whatever project I have undertaken in the past here). The follow up answer (which incidentally was to the question “Why?”) prompted me to explain that I did not know who the heck this Laurel was and felt uncomfortable resting on her.

I suppose this goes back to my upbringing. “That was good… and the next one will be even better.” Encouragement to that effect was a constant in my formative years. The gentle loving tone with which it was delivered (by my parents) was just as important in spurring on the attainment of “better”. Simply because the lack of the right tone in delivery could easily result in devastation and discouragement.

I’m not entirely sure but will venture to guess that my physical handicap played a role in this peculiar sort of encouragement. In my parents focus to raise me to be independent, whatever I undertook had to be above the norm in order to compete with the real world. Looking back, it’s not the kind of simple logic that can be argued with even among “normal” people.

So much so, when I listened to someone regaling a story of a major accomplishment or a “peak” event a certain melancholy would be mixed in me with the delight of the colorful recount. This was especially so when the tale was qualified with the word “best”. My twisted logic told me there was always more than Everest… that the person quit trying after attaining a certain level. As a result, words like “peak” connotes “limitation” to me.

Mind you I have also bombed… in major ways… in major spectacular ways. But it was never from the lack of trying. So, “only as good as the next” keeps me chasing rainbows. Afterall, what else is there to do?

 
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Posted in perception

 

I may have to learn or at least re-learn…

27 Aug

0… how to be around people again. Of late I have noticed that I get rattled when I am in a place with more than 10 people in it. This never used to be an issue. In the past I was always around people. I would even go so far to say that I thrived on the energy of a crowd.

Perhaps the last couple of years of not socializing as much as I used to has made me a bit of a recluse. I suppose that’s natural. Afterall, one does become conditioned to different environments.

The thing is I’m not easily rattled… especially over something as minor as watching a play in a theater with 90 other people. But it somehow got to me.

Curious.

 
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Posted in perception

 

the drips I hear outside…

22 Jan

water-drop… tell me if I can or can’t. More accurately it is a combination of the spaces between drips and a gut feeling. So, just a while ago I heard, “drip……… drip, drip ……………………..drip….” That told me I had five minutes. I put on my coat and pith of choice, mounted the saddle and headed out. It was a half hour ride. Perfect to get the circulation going. I finish my ride. Roll the bike back into the garage. Take off my coat. Sit down to blog and as I do I hear outside, “drip……………….. drip, drip…. drip, drip, drip….. ”

Opportunity offered, recognized & taken. Sometimes it pays off… sometimes it doesn’t. Today it did.

Perhaps later I’ll post some more as an edit or a new posting.

 
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Posted in perception

 

transitioning within a transition

19 Jan

mlkbho“Yes we can… have a dream!”

No, that’s not meant to sound cynical or snarky… though you can if you choose to take it that way. For a while now I have been convinced that my generation (has and) is living through a transition. It could probably be argued that the 20th century was and this 21st will be ones of major transition.

“But doesn’t every age and century go through transition?” you may ask. Yes… though the “status quo” from previous centuries (after any major shift occurred) ruled and lingered longer… much longer than in the last 100 years.. I will even even propose that in that time (the last 50 years in particular)… everytime  a certain status quo was established a challenge to it emerged almost instantly. The tumultuous tone of the times can be directly attributed to this constant struggle between the two… a contentious dance between “the way it used to be”, “the way it is” and with “the way it can be” types. The last few decades has seen this more than any other era.

Ironically even between the “I have a dream” and the “Yes we can” generations there exists a definite and uneasy clash of cultures. Times and shifts in the various collective consciousness are moving rapidly. Will it all plateau into a new universal status quo?  I have no idea. All I do know is that we are living through exciting times… a time when history making moments seem to happen everyday… the celebrations of today and tomorrow in this country being just one example.

Just something I pondered when I awoke this morning.

 
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Posted in observations, perception

 

now on to the business of life

06 Jan

ep2_jainThe good news is the part has been recast (see “advice to the populous” section 2 posts down)… so, now the video project can move forward.

Yesterday, in many ways it felt like I was in suspended animation… like I was floating in a giant tank of orange jello. My immediate instinct was to fight it simply because I have several projects pending… but I resisted and gave in instead. I have learned there are times when life just tells you to stop and chill for a bit… and you just gotta do it. Fighting it just gets you frustrated and “stuck” for even longer than intended. Today I think it has passed.

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO…

Michael Wood is back with a new series on PBS… “The Story Of India“. I accidentally caught the second episode last night. (See what I mean about being in suspended animation? I’m usually hep to these things… good thing there are scheduled repeats this week so I can catch episode 1.) Anyway, as I watched it last night I realized how much attention I had actually paid during High School history class back in Malaysia lo those many years ago. I have to admit to a certain smug delight knowing who Chandra Gupta and Ashoka were. So the moral of this story is that knowledge provides you with the warm delight of knowing instead of the cold desolation of befuddlement… LOL! Anyway, I highly recommend it… as I do with all of the documentaries that Michael Wood undertakes. So, check your PBS schedule airings in your area.

This may be a rolling post… so, you may want to check back later.

EDIT: 1:40 PM

The sun has refused to make an appearance for too many days so, it’s off to the laundromat to get stuff dry. While that is happening I think I may catch lunch in the area. The Tower always has a variety of good lunch options.

 
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Posted in life, perception

 
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