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… asked about the song “Jauh, Jauh” that Joy sang at Mum’s memorial. It was a favorite of both Mum and Dad… and mine.

Here is a great version from Sean Ghazi’s “Semalam” album. I’ve included the lyrics and the English translation. The song was written by the late Malaysian composer, Jimmy Boyle.

JAUH JAUH

Jauh jauh
Nun di sebalik gunung yang hijau
Pasir puteh
Menantikan laut biru

Ombaknya berderai
Sayup-sayup kedengaran
Bayu yang meniup
Membawa beritaku padanya

Sungguh sayu
Bila ku kenangkan peristiwa
Jauh jauh
Tinggal segala kenangan

Hilang di telan ombak
Yang memanggilnya
Kini ku s’orang
Tinggal mengenang yang jauh

FROM A-FAR

From a-far
Way beyond the mountain green
White sands
Await the azure sea

The waves break
Faintly whispering
Are the breezes that blow
Carrying my message to her

So sad
When I think of the past
Far away
The memories have been left behind

Lost, and consumed by the waves
That call to her
Leaving me alone
To remember her from a-far

… will be held this Saturday, June 27 on the front lawn of our home 416 E. Brown Ave., Fresno California.

This celebration of Mum’s life will begin at noon (ish) with a short service followed by refreshments, music, and a photo display of her life and work.

Dress is “summer casual” and please feel free to bring a dish, beverage or a fun happy memory of Gerty to share. If you can’t be present you may share your story in the comment section of this post and it will be shared at the memorial.

Arrangements for a live webcast are currently being made for relatives and loved ones who are spread out world wide. (Please check back here for updates.)

Many have inquired and offered to make contributions and you may do so via PayPal by clicking HERE.

Once again, Thank You for your messages, tributes, presence, kindness and love. I will respond to each and everyone soon.

- marcel

… me at 5 AM. I had slept in the bed that had been set up in the dining room from when my cousins visited the week before. Just around the corner in the living room was Mum in the hospital bed I had bought in January.I had stayed up the night before and allowed myself some sleep when I was satisfied that her breathing was regular.

I wished her good morning, administered a dose of medication and when I saw that her breathing was regular told her I would not be far away. I then brushed my teeth and sat to blog an update from the events of the day before. Once posted I also burned another cd of music she liked. For the 2 days previous music had been a constant… primarily from a cd I had made for her in 2004 that she enjoyed… songs I knew she liked. I thought a wider selection of songs would be nice. I went back and popped the cd in… new music… but still stuff she liked.

I sat with her for a while. Told her that I loved her very much and that I was starting my chores for the day… feeding the dogs and watering the vegebeds. Once completed I went back in with a cup of coffee and listened to more music with her. The cd I had burned earlier came back into its second rotation.

I opened the front door to let the (unusually) cool air ( for June) enter the house. I told her I would step out to water the ferns out front and would be back shortly. Ella Fitzgerald was singing “Take the “A” train” on the cd player. When I returned the song was still playing. I noticed her breathing had stopped. I checked but could not find a pulse. She was still warm. I kissed her forehead and thanked her for being my mother. On the cd player Tony Bennett sang “The way you look tonight”.

I placed a call to the hospice then stepped outside the house and placed calls to several friends who have been stalwarts in helping me through this time. As I did Nat King Cole sang “Smile” on the cd player.

The morning was gorgeous outside with streams of sunlight filtering through the branches of the trees on the street. The air was crisp and cool. Mum could not have picked a more beautiful morning nor a more perfect soundtrack to gracefully make her exit.

EDIT: Monday, June 22, 9 AM

I’ve decided to add the three songs that were mentioned in this blog post.

… at 8 AM this morning. Details to follow later today.

Mum rested easy yesterday. Mike and Karen stayed with her while Kim accompanied me to make cremation arrangements at Nova. The good thing was that it was not too far away. What took off the edge was the fact that the person at Nova was sincere but slightly on the goofy side. In fact, once we were done Kim and I had a bit of a smirk in the car over the experience. I told Kim that not even Hollywood could cast that role if there was a movie version.

Yes, it does sound a little morbid… the fact that I went to make these arrangements. However, I am glad it is done. It will make things easier down the line and I wanted to do it in case I shut down when the time comes… and I wanted to get the paperwork accomplished while my mind is clear.

We got back home to breakfast burritos that Mike had gone out to get in our absence. The morning was beautiful as we sat around and ate on the front lawn. I also proposed to the those there that from this point on we would avoid telling Mum that it was OK “to cross over”. Mum never liked being told what to do (especially fom me) and always did what she wanted and when she wanted anyway. So, we will continue to keep her comfortable and just assure her that “things will be OK here.”

When Karen, Kim and Mike left to attend their own personal chores I sat with Mum for most of the afternoon and we listened to her favorite music. It was a compilation of songs that I had burned on cd in 2004 which she delighted in listening to over and over again.

Aileen came by to check on me followed by Kim to swap a shift with me. Randy made his daily visit to be with me and we shared a beer. At about 5 Hooi, (an old friend I’ve known from boy scout days) and Elaine, his wife arrived from LA to visit with Mum and me. Among the things we chatted about was the recent passing of Tog. After they left Kim shooed me off to take a short nap.

The evening brought Shookie, Aileen and Tony… all (among others) who have been constants this week. We worked to turn Mum to her other side. I also received calls from Katie, Joel and Bruce. Last night I spent with Mum in the house. Before I sat to write this post I informed her that I would still be close but needed to water the lawn and left her in the house with her favorite cd playing.

Now, to turn off the sprinklers and get back in to enjoy the music together. In the meantime… you can still share your Mum experiences and stories HERE.

… of me has been a variation of, “How are you holding up?” My standard reply has been, “For the most part… I’m holding up OK… Thank You for asking.”

I’ll admit over the last 2 weeks I’ve felt a little “tweaky” first thing in the morning. When Mum was in hospital last week it was brought on because my first thought had been… “Let Janya. (the dog who sleeps in the laundry room) out and get Mum breakfast.” Then realizing that she was in hospital and feeling the first pangs of the tweak. It’s not unlike the feeling I get when I’ve had one cup of coffee too many.

This week the tweak arrives the instant I awake… which has been right at 6 AM. I make sure to shake the morning groggy’s out… let the dog out and chjeck on Mum. I wish her good morning, sit with her for a bit and tell her the chores I’m about to do. Before I leave her side I always make sure to tell her that I love her.  I always reassure her that I will be close. After the chores are done… feeding the dogs, watering the vegebeds the feeling subsides. Only then is coffee brewed.

For the last couple of days I’ve had the company of Kim to rotate sitting shifts in the daytime with Mum. This frees me up to attend other duties. Yesterday, there was one detail that I have been avoiding all week that I finally got to… getting price quotes for cremation. Now it’s done and if I should shut down when the inevitable arrives at least everything is in place.

So, that’s how I’m doing.

MUM UPDATE JUNE 20

Mum’s breathing and pulse patterns began it’s erratic stage. According to the material provided by the hospice this adds yet another sign to the “days/hours” indicator to her leaving this world.

There was a surge of visitors yesterday evening including Brandy, KP, Tony Aileen,  Kate, Shookie, Nicki, Karen and Mike. The entire evening there were shifts with at least 2 people keeping Mum company at all times while the rest hung out the front of the house. Even the neighbors next door came out to join us. Many brought wine, beer and pizza to help while away the evening outside.

This allowed me to slip away to the back at about 10 PM to catch a nap. I awoke at 11:30 to check on Mum and found that Brandy, Mike and Karen still keeping Mum company. I was told to get back to sleep as Karen (who is a nurse) and Mike would stay up to sit with Mum.

It is now 5:30 AM. I woke at 4 and checked on Mum. Karen and Mike have been switching nap periods to sit with Mum. I’ll go make coffee now sit with Mum and they can catch some winks. Mum is resting easy.

The company (I have been blessed to have) does help… a lot. As many of you know Mum has always loved company. I know even though she has reached this non-communicative stage the buzz of people around her is adding to her comfort.