Tis true. I am. It wasn’t always that way and I’m not entirely sure when this (me being awkward) actually began. But are you not awkward most times anyway? Yeah… sure… but I’m talking about holidays in this post. Try to keep focus, will ya?
Anyway, this much I know… it wasn’t always that way… at least, not back in Malaysia. I loved holidays and Malaysia still has one of the highest number of public holidays in the world.
There were more “feast days” (Chinese New Year, 2 Hari Rayas, Deepavali, Christmas, etc) along with a slew of other sundry holidays (National Day, Sultan’s birthday, etc) that were spread throughout the year. I enjoyed all of them… especially the “feast days” mainly because there was a wonderful mix of camaraderie and food involved. This was especially prevalent with the cultural quirk of the “open house” practiced there.
I’m guessing the development of (my present) awkwardness may stem from the fact that I grew up with a set of traditions and with moving from one country and culture to another… let’s just say that bag got lost in transit. It also didn’t help that the ever flowing shifts in my life since then have been continual. (Nay, some would claim relentless.) Not exactly conducive factors to make something stick.
No, no, no… this is not a poor me post. Look, I have enjoyed holiday traditions here as a guest of several friends on many an occasion. Enjoyed them in a major way, I may add. And this year is no different as a generous number of invitations have poured in. As much as I appreciate that sharing and have been enriched by those experiences… they are not mine.
The closest I’ve gotten was while living with Mum over the last 10 or so years. Mostly in terms of food and a quieter version of what I grew up with. So much so, I now much prefer quiet celebrations during the holidays. This is strange (and a little awkward) because the traditions I grew up with had a definite mix of family along with a hefty social component in the milieu. So you see even that (the social component) of the tradition I grew up with… I’m not so crazy about anymore. (Now, that’s awkward.) The food on the other hand, I am. And I do happily cook those dishes to satiate my taste of the season.
So, being awkward during the holidays may not necessarily be a bad thing. Not everyone needs to be some place with other people during the holidays. I appreciate the sentiment… but it’s not a law. They just need to be. And if being means finding solace and comfort on their own… that’s OK too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
BTW… Da BIG Count is on Friday. Just sayin.
dave o
November 25, 2009 at 9:27 am
Growing up on Guam, we had the same kind of mix and frequency of holidays – every village had a patron saint, and feast day, there were all of the other religious holidays as well as our “mainland” holidays, and the holidays of other cultures too. We had open house too. Weddings and funerals also meant village-wide feasts. The food was fantastic! Huge tables (4-5 sheets of plywood on sawhorses) literally sagging under the weight of dishes from all over the world, 8-12 garbage cans full of soda and beer on ice. Feast days and celebrations were awesome! I really liked ‘open house’ too. My folks would open the door in the morning and a parade of folks would come by as time and other engagements dictated – all day and well into the night. I tried it here with our house-warming but…well folks aren’t used to it here and the house stayed empty until late afternoon/evening. It was great but made me realize that some things aren’t transplantable.
Thanks for the post – took me back for a few this morning. Enjoy your holiday in the way that makes you comfortable – that’s what it’s all about isn’t it?
Aileen Imperatrice
November 25, 2009 at 1:25 pm
I can relate to the awkwardness. For me it’s in relating to my families. I’ve found over the last few years that I have even less to relate to with these people. Because I haven’t produced any human children, I’m not really included in what seems to be the premier focus of my relatives and they certainly don’t “get” my career in art. Whether it be the really poor taste in comments made by certain relatives, the obvious disapproval of how I’ve chosen to live my life or just the general apathy for caring, my families have made it increasingly difficult to enjoy being around them. And so I find myself more withdrawn and depressed around them. Like you, it seems I’m most comfortable in the simple, quiet moments at my home or with friends. At least there will be plenty of food.
lime
November 26, 2009 at 8:29 am
so long as that is your desire and what makes you comfortable. i am certainly finding the solace in solitude more and more the older i get. i do wish yo ua happy thanksgiving in whatever fashion you choose to observe it and please know you ar ea friend for whom i am giving thanks today.
blake
November 29, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Interesting insight to you mah friend, but for some reason “awkward” is never the word that comes up when I think of you. You handle things with an easy grace.