The lack of motivation…

The lack of motivation in class just befuddles me. They will sit there and pick their noses or stare into space with such conviction that one almost has to admire this strange celebration of the rut. Its as if all ambition has been burned out of them.

Ran into Martha today. She showed me pictures of her trip to Mexico and gave me a running commentry as I flipped through them. She seemed to have a good trip and her pictures reflected that.

Tomorrow there is a job fair over here. The streets are being blocked off and its a big “to do” for both the school and the agency. Too bad they couldn’t have just lent some support to the kids during the festival. In fact… here is the email I sent in regards to that.

I know you are also going through a lot on the personal front and didn’t really expect to see you at the performance. Only 3 other staff members attended … but their presence did help provide validation for the kids with what they were doing. I am happy to say that several of their peers from SOUL were also in attendance in the audience.

I am very proud of our students who performed with both professional attitude and savvy. Not only did they perform the show well… they fielded questions during the Q & A after the show with confidence… each taking turns with the answers.

They also provided a short “hands on” workshop for the audience on how to handle the puppets. The show dealt with the recent tsunami in Asia and many in the audience thought that the show was very couragous because it did not include a pat or happy ending. There have been enquiries about the company “taking their show on the road.” In the article in Friday’s Fresno Bee… you may have also noticed that their TOP 5 ACTS in the Rogue included the ALL TOO REAL PLAYERS… the ONLY local group to be included in that list. The rest were professional performers from San Francisco, Canada, Berkeley and London.

I think this was a huge missed opportunity for the school & agency to bask in the glowing success of these students… but life goes on. … m

More later…

The Shit goes out… to the trailer!

So, I finally picked up the gumption to get the office cleaned. Its been a mess for a while and I wanted the festival stuff out! Out of here and into the trailer. Got most of it done and now there is actual SPACE to move around! Took me 2 full hours…. and I was multi-tasking! Watering the veges outside while I dove into boxes of crap.

Of course I got obsessive about trying to hang the shadow puppets on the stucco wall – that was a bitch and a half! The nails just didn’t want to go in to the wall. That burned up 45 minutes of pure frustration. So, the place is still a bit of a mess…. something I’ll remedy tomorrow.

Been surfing to other blog spots… lots of Malaysians! Curious. The whole blog phenomenon is quite amazing actually.

Read one entry where this woman just went on about forgetting to wear a bra on a certain day. She was totally befuddled how she managed that. Quite funny.

Most are rants. Some are informative. Many are political. Good on them all! It almost seems as if there was this great constipation of expression until the net came along. Now there is all manner of expression out there! Some whacked. Some silly. Some crap. Some jems. Some just plain strange. But it is expression and its out there for everyone to read. Loads and loads of it.

Hmm… is there a downside to that?

Thought for the day:
The rancid smell of garbage is universal. Ah, yet one more thing that binds us all together.

Second Period

The kids use this as their “kick-back” class. And I really don’t mind it as long as work is done. Its something that I feel is essential to the creative process.

For many of them their work seems to be more developed than when they first began. For the rest of them… they are just marking time. Thats their choice. One cannot force creativity on anyone.

My nose and ear is still bunged up. I can hardly hear from my right ear and am waiting for it to all clear up. Some day it will and everything will just seem “extra loud” for a while.

More later….

Back again… dammit!

Got back to work today after the spring break. I was hoping for a new attitude but as the day wore on … it all decended back into the same old hole of crap. I really need to get a new gig. Although this one affords me more than I could ever afford before… its killing me inside.

Drove back yesterday from SF and was reminded how much I enjoy doing the long haul. There is a certain Zen to it.

It was so green too! Actually, I think that in my 25 years here … its the first time I’ve seen it this fresh and green. First noticed it last Thursday when Randy and I went up to Monterey for the day. That was a good little getaway that was much needed.

Now its back to the grind.